Après avoir acheté un pack de trois chargeurs d'iPhone il y a quelques mois, j'ai fait clairement comprendre à mon partenaire qu'ils étaient réservés à mon usage personnel uniquement. J'avais déjà donné de nombreux chargeurs à mes enfants adoptifs, qui les perdent fréquemment, et je me lassais d'être laissé sans en avoir un. Ce soir, j'ai découvert qu'un chargeur manquait du pack, qui était stocké dans le bureau de mon partenaire - une zone que les enfants ne sont pas autorisés à accéder. Quand j'ai demandé à mon partenaire s'il avait pris le chargeur, il a nié l'avoir fait.
Je soupçonnais que je trouverais le chargeur dans l'une des chambres des enfants, et effectivement, il était branché à côté d'un lit dans la deuxième chambre que j'ai vérifiée. J'ai montré le chargeur à mon partenaire, qui a d'abord remis en question s'il s'agissait vraiment du mien. J'ai pointé le chargeur identique encore présent dans le pack comme preuve. Il a ensuite suggéré que peut-être l'enfant n'avait pas réalisé qu'il m'appartenait. J'ai répondu qu'indépendamment de la propriété, l'enfant aurait dû savoir qu'il ne s'agissait pas du sien. Mon partenaire a accepté ce point.
Quand j'ai remis le chargeur dans son pack, mon partenaire semblait agacé et a demandé si cela signifiait que l'enfant ne pouvait plus l'utiliser. Je lui ai rappelé que j'avais explicitement dit que ces chargeurs ne devaient pas être partagés et que l'enfant l'avait pris sans demander. C'est frustrant que, au lieu de traiter le comportement de son enfant, mon partenaire soit en colère contre moi pour récupérer ce qui m'appartient. Des situations comme celle-ci me font me sentir étranger dans ma propre maison, surtout depuis que je sais qu'il serait en colère s'il avait été pris son propre chargeur.
Is he unable to buy his own child a charger? This situation should have been handled differently. He should have acknowledged what you said, returned your charger, apologized, and committed to getting one for his child. It could have been so simple.
If you stay, this will be your life. If you don’t want to spend the rest of it being disrespected and having your feelings dismissed, then leave him.
It’s disrespectful and shows that my feelings don’t matter if it means his son might be slightly inconvenienced by not having a charger.
This situation is a small glimpse into a larger issue. If you can’t even keep a phone charger for yourself, I can only imagine how this living arrangement is a complete disservice to you. Living alone is amazing.
Why isn’t your husband handling the charger situation? Chargers are always a source of frustration in homes with teenagers, but going without one for a day can quickly teach responsibility. I speak from experience.
Place them in a Matrix to teach them not to take others’ chargers without asking.
I don’t understand how they lose so many charging cables. I keep mine in the same place at all times, even when traveling, and always bring it back. We’ve had to buy new cables repeatedly, which is frustrating. They don’t even have phones—just iPads and watches. Once, I was particularly annoyed when my watch was taken off the charger right after I put it on, and one of my step-sons put his on instead because he had lost another watch charger.
I would draw a strict line at someone taking my phone or watch off the charger without asking. That’s disrespectful and entitled, as if their need to charge a device is more important than common decency.
I’m willing to be flexible if they ask and have a pressing reason, even if it’s due to their own irresponsibility. But taking my device off the charger without notice, leaving me to believe it’s fully charged when it’s not, is unacceptable.
Even if it wasn’t the new charger, if they’ve lost several of yours, they owe you this one and he should acknowledge that. In fact, if your partner knows his kids are responsible for many of your chargers going missing, he should be buying you replacements without you having to ask or justify it.
It was definitely my new charger. Since they’re quite unique, when I showed him the other identical one, he immediately knew it was mine and then shifted to asking why he couldn’t use it.
This is exactly what I was thinking.
This is strange behavior. My nine-year-old knows not to go into my desk, and most children understand this boundary. Your partner is being unreasonable. I would be more upset that the child entered an area where he shouldn’t have been.
Managing blended families is challenging for both adults. As a mom, I always felt the need to defend my children. My ex was consistently upset that he wasn’t my top priority, even though I had explained from the start that my kids would come first. I was constantly caught in the middle, which was exhausting. I won’t date again until my children turn 18, as it’s just too much stress.
Teaching your children not to take things that don’t belong to them doesn’t mean you aren’t putting them first. Expecting your personal items to be left alone, especially when they’re stored away in a drawer they shouldn’t be accessing, is a reasonable boundary, not a demand to be the top priority.
I use pink sparkle chargers and keep them in all my bags, when traveling, and by my bed. There’s no doubt who owns the expensive sparkle chargers—I even put my initials on them. Please don’t take my things.
I put small initials on the kids’ cables, chargers, and electronics, but kept my wife’s and mine free of markings. Chargers were always the biggest issue, especially on exchange days.
Whenever my stepkids visit, they need to bring their own chargers. Otherwise, their devices will run out of battery, and they’ll be out of luck.
I’m happy to lend a charger, but we have a strict rule about charger responsibility in our house. They must ask me directly and return it before leaving, or they’ll lose borrowing privileges until it’s returned.