Nachdem ich vor ein paar Monaten ein Dreierpack iPhone-Ladegeräte gekauft hatte, machte ich meiner Partnerin klar, dass diese nur für meine persönliche Nutzung bestimmt waren. Ich hatte bereits zahlreiche Ladegeräte an meine Stiefkinder abgegeben, die sie häufig verlegen, und ich war es leid, ohne eines zu sein. Heute Abend fand ich eines der Ladegeräte aus dem Pack fehl, das in der Schreibtischschublade meiner Partnerin aufbewahrt wurde – einem Bereich, den die Kinder nicht betreten dürfen. Als ich meine Partnerin fragte, ob sie es genommen habe, leugnete sie es.
Ich vermutete, dass ich das Ladegerät in einem der Kinderzimmer finden würde, und tatsächlich war es neben einem Bett im zweiten Zimmer, das ich überprüfte, eingeschaltet. Ich zeigte es meiner Partnerin, die zunächst fragte, ob es wirklich meines sei. Ich wies auf das identische Ladegerät im Pack als Beweis hin. Sie schlug dann vor, dass das Kind vielleicht nicht gewusst habe, dass es mir gehörte. Ich antwortete, dass es egal sei, wer es besaß, das Kind hätte wissen müssen, dass es nicht seines war. Meine Partnerin gab diesen Punkt zu.
Als ich das Ladegerät wieder in das Pack zurücklegte, wirkte meine Partnerin ärgerlich und fragte, ob das bedeute, dass das Kind es nicht benutzen könne. Ich erinnerte sie daran, dass ich explizit gesagt hatte, dass die Ladegeräte nicht geteilt werden sollten und das Kind es ohne Erlaubnis genommen hatte. Es ist frustrierend, dass statt sich mit dem Verhalten seines Kindes auseinanderzusetzen, meine Partnerin sauer auf mich ist, weil ich das Wiedererlangen meines Eigentums beantrage. Situationen wie diese machen mich fühlen wie ein Fremder in meinem eigenen Zuhause, insbesondere da ich weiß, dass sie wütend wäre, wenn ihr eigenes Ladegerät genommen worden wäre.
Is he unable to buy his own child a charger? This situation should have been handled differently. He should have acknowledged what you said, returned your charger, apologized, and committed to getting one for his child. It could have been so simple.
If you stay, this will be your life. If you don’t want to spend the rest of it being disrespected and having your feelings dismissed, then leave him.
It’s disrespectful and shows that my feelings don’t matter if it means his son might be slightly inconvenienced by not having a charger.
This situation is a small glimpse into a larger issue. If you can’t even keep a phone charger for yourself, I can only imagine how this living arrangement is a complete disservice to you. Living alone is amazing.
Why isn’t your husband handling the charger situation? Chargers are always a source of frustration in homes with teenagers, but going without one for a day can quickly teach responsibility. I speak from experience.
Place them in a Matrix to teach them not to take others’ chargers without asking.
I don’t understand how they lose so many charging cables. I keep mine in the same place at all times, even when traveling, and always bring it back. We’ve had to buy new cables repeatedly, which is frustrating. They don’t even have phones—just iPads and watches. Once, I was particularly annoyed when my watch was taken off the charger right after I put it on, and one of my step-sons put his on instead because he had lost another watch charger.
I would draw a strict line at someone taking my phone or watch off the charger without asking. That’s disrespectful and entitled, as if their need to charge a device is more important than common decency.
I’m willing to be flexible if they ask and have a pressing reason, even if it’s due to their own irresponsibility. But taking my device off the charger without notice, leaving me to believe it’s fully charged when it’s not, is unacceptable.
Even if it wasn’t the new charger, if they’ve lost several of yours, they owe you this one and he should acknowledge that. In fact, if your partner knows his kids are responsible for many of your chargers going missing, he should be buying you replacements without you having to ask or justify it.
It was definitely my new charger. Since they’re quite unique, when I showed him the other identical one, he immediately knew it was mine and then shifted to asking why he couldn’t use it.
This is exactly what I was thinking.
This is strange behavior. My nine-year-old knows not to go into my desk, and most children understand this boundary. Your partner is being unreasonable. I would be more upset that the child entered an area where he shouldn’t have been.
Managing blended families is challenging for both adults. As a mom, I always felt the need to defend my children. My ex was consistently upset that he wasn’t my top priority, even though I had explained from the start that my kids would come first. I was constantly caught in the middle, which was exhausting. I won’t date again until my children turn 18, as it’s just too much stress.
Teaching your children not to take things that don’t belong to them doesn’t mean you aren’t putting them first. Expecting your personal items to be left alone, especially when they’re stored away in a drawer they shouldn’t be accessing, is a reasonable boundary, not a demand to be the top priority.
I use pink sparkle chargers and keep them in all my bags, when traveling, and by my bed. There’s no doubt who owns the expensive sparkle chargers—I even put my initials on them. Please don’t take my things.
I put small initials on the kids’ cables, chargers, and electronics, but kept my wife’s and mine free of markings. Chargers were always the biggest issue, especially on exchange days.
Whenever my stepkids visit, they need to bring their own chargers. Otherwise, their devices will run out of battery, and they’ll be out of luck.
I’m happy to lend a charger, but we have a strict rule about charger responsibility in our house. They must ask me directly and return it before leaving, or they’ll lose borrowing privileges until it’s returned.